Screw Up

The other day at work, some customer complained to me about the Dr. Pepper being out of syrup. So, reluctantly, I headed to the back to put a knew thing of syrup on the pump. It was my first time doing it by myself, but I was determined. But, first off, those syrup bags are HEAVY. It's like trying to lift a house of its foundation-- that's how freaking heavy they are. Somehow, though, I manage to get the syrup down and onto the cart. I begin opening the cardboard, but the whole isn't big enough to get the nozzle out, so I grab a knife. Now, lets get something straight, that cardboard syrup box was plastered with no less than 10 pictures  of "do not use knives" signs. But I told myself I'd just be extra careful. As I start sawing the cardboard away, suddenly a dark liquid starts oozing everywhere--- I'd poked the bag. Before I knew it, I had my shift manager, co-worker, and boss all surrounding me. My co-worker kept saying with a grave voice and a confused look in his eyes, "It says don't use knives! It says it everywhere! Don't use knives!" They ended up having to throw the whole thing of syrup away (which my step dad later informed had to be fairly expensive) and I was mortified. I asked my boss if I was fired and he responded with, "No, as long as you aren't messing up everyday, you're okay." "But I am messing up everyday!" I said. He thought about this for a second, then said, " Well, that's true." Neither of us really knew what to say after that.

What have I done

The other day I'm sitting in debate class and we're talking about kids and when they mature. My teacher brought up the point that all kids mature at different times. He gave an example of his wife, who didn't  start having a period until she was 16. That in and of itself was a bit awkward, but not too bad. He goes on to say, "I know, all the girls here are going, 'What?! I started when I was like 4!'" Of course, all the girls in the room start to laugh knowing full well that it's basically impossible to go through puberty at that age. Me, always repeating everything funny that I hear, scoffed and said, "I started when I was 4!" Just then, the little freshman in front of me turns around and gives me the most horrified look I've ever seen in my life, thinking that I really had started when I was four. I just stared back at him, not really knowing what to say. Yeah, it was just a freshman, but the senior boy next to him was pretty fine looking, and if he was anywhere near as ignorant as the freshman, he also thought I started puberty at age four. So there I was, sitting in debate class, everyone uneducated thinking I was some kind of freak of nature. I didn't know how to explain to them that I was just repeating what the teacher had said. All I could think was, "What have I done."

Jobs

I started my new job yesterday....
It's at a Mexican restaurant and I'm the only white, non-Hispanic there. I could barely understand anybody and I messed up countless times. I made a fool out of myself in front of everybody. It was a bit humiliating.

Do you have any terrible work experiences? Let us know about them!

-Anna

Not What it Seems

My first kiss was a disaster at age 15. It with a guy friend during a walk in the park. We were sitting on a bench at dusk under a canopy of huge palm trees, and the crickets had started chirping.

For several months, I had developed a serious crush on him. We shared a few classes together, and I always happily assumed that he was a nice gentleman.

We started off by slowly nuzzling our noses together. When the kiss finally came, I tilted my head so our noses were on each other's cheeks. The kiss was slow, wet, sloppy... and really romantic.

We kissed a second time...

My heart was fluttering. It felt like the incredible thrill that I'd get on the parachute ride at Six Flags where they hoist you up 10 stories and then let you free fall down... the kind where you just stand up in a metal bucket cage, hold on, and there aren't even any seat belts. I was breathless, giddy, and excited beyond words. Really excited. Butterflies in the tummy.

A few moments after the second kiss ended, he asked me to come over to his house and wanted me to have sex with him quickly before his parents returned from work. My heart immediately sank as the sick realization hit me like a hard punch to the tummy. His offer wasn't a compliment!!! My crush wasn't a handsome hero... he was just another rude, selfish, h*rny, lazy pig. Another jerk like the ones I'd heard my friends complain about.

The truth was, I realized, that he didn't give a crap about me or my feelings. He didn't even want to bother wasting a little of his time or money to seduce me... thank goodness (because I might have fallen for his lies).

Of course, I refused. After he left in a huff, I wept quietly for half an hour. No one noticed me or my tears in the growing darkness under the canopy of palms topped by the last remnants of a beautiful sunset.

The tears were also for having my arrogance and smugness turned upside down into humility. Even though I had zero experience with guys, whenever I heard of a problem that a guy caused a girl... I always thought to myself "That would never happen to me!".

Well, it had finally happened to me. 

-B

Car Troubles

My car doors aren't automatic. Yeah, that means you gotta roll the windows up by hand and lock all the doors one by one. It's pretty awful, but a car's a car. Anywho, I've locked myself out of my car countless times. It's the worst feeling ever. One week, I locked myself out 3 times! My dad had to come break in to it for me each time, and it was humiliating.
After locking myself out for the fourth time, I realized I needed to be more careful. So, I made sure I always had my keys with me and it became habit to check that I had my keys BEFORE locking the car and stepping out. A few months went by, and pretty soon I had a good streak going.
Until one day when I was in a hurry.
I was clear down the street, almost a block from my house, when I had to quickly jump out of my car. I can't even remember why I had to get out, but I know I had to; I was in a huge hurry. Anywho, I accomplish whatever I needed to step out of the car for, and turn to go back into my car-- psych, it's locked. I check all the doors-- all locked. GREAT.
So there I am, in the middle of an already narrow street, blocking traffic, my car is STILL running so I'm wasting my gas, and times ticking away. My dad was home sick, so I didn't want to bother him (plus, he lives a mile away). My step-dad was at home taking a nap, and he didn't want to help. And no one else was home. So I grabbed a hanger and some screw drivers and tried to mimic what I'd seen my dad do to break into my car.
I've never been so humiliated in all my life.
I was there for an hour, blocking traffic in the middle of the street, with everyone I've ever known squeezing around my car. Not one person stopped to help. In fact, my Uncle was even coming down the street, and turned THE OTHER WAY so he wouldn't have to help me. I looked worn, sweaty, helpless, and absolutely pathetic. I've never felt so bad for myself in all my life. And to make matters worse, I started bawling.
I finally ended up calling my dad. After another 35 minutes, we finally got it open. My gas was basically gone and so was my dignity.

-Anna

Send Your Story!

Like these stories? Hahaha, I do too! But I'm running out! Please, if you have a story, send it to me! I'll keep it anonymous if you wish! Come on, do it for the blog!

-Anna

I Will Not Be Ignored...

We were on a family road trip and stopped at a gas station to use the restroom and get some snacks. I walked into the bathroom and saw my daughter in one of the stalls. I knew it was her because I could see her blue vans that she was wearing that day. Being the only people in the bathroom, I decided to mess with her. So I said her name in the creepiest voice possible. No answer. I said it again, even creepier. No answer. Finally, I'd had enough of her ignoring me, so I said, "I will not be ignored!" In the same creepy voice and peeked through the crack of the stall.
But, instead of my daughter, some poor little girl looked horror stricken back.
I ran from the bathroom, told my family it was time to go, and get the heck out of there, way too embarrassed to look back.

-K.E.

Kiss it Goodbye

So, I've been looking around for a job, right? And yesterday, I go to Zupas and on the front door, there's a help wanted sign. I figure it wouldn't be a bad job, so when I get home, I apply online. The way you apply for Zupas online was super confusing to me, so I kind of gave up on it, thinking they wouldn't call me because it wasn't even complete.
Today, during lunch, I get a call from an unknown number. Lately, I've been getting calls at least once a day from some cruise line trying to sell to me. So,  when I saw this strange number, I figured it was just the cruise line again and I rolled my eyes explaining my frustration to my friend. She insisted I let her answer the call, so, against my better judgment, I let her. She answers it with, "BlahhGoobooMrr" or some kind of gibberish baby talk. Then she persist to say, "STAHP calling me!!" In her best impression of Jimmy Fallon's "Sara", and hangs up. We laugh about it after, thinking we're so clever and funny.
Then the number calls again. Holiday Cruise Line doesn't ever call back.
But by this point, I'm too frustrated that they're still bugging me to think logically and I answer the phone with an irritated, "Hello?"
Voice on the other end: "Hi! Is this Anna?"
Me, in a still irritated and somewhat smart-alecky voice: "Yeah, this is she." (because I think it's sooo ugly when people say, "this is she!")
Her: "Well Hi! This is the manager from Café Zupas and we we're just looking at your online application, do you have a few minutes?"
Me to my friend: I'm going to kill you.
Manager proceeds: "Ha.. ha, um, was that you who answered the phone the time before?"
Me to my friend: Yeah, we're not friends anymore.
I explain to the kind lady that, no(!!), that was not me, it was my friend trying to be funny. She then replies with, "Oh good! I was pretty scared..."
Yeah, yeah me too.
Let's just kiss that job goodbye.

-Anna

Who Needs A Date?

Story of my first date. We made plans to go to Aquatica (Orlando water park) because I have a seasonal pass. We made plans way ahead of time. Everything was set and I brought a non refundable ticket for him. He was just supposed to pay for the food, locker, ect. He tells me that day he forgot about an appointment he had so he's be a little late. Hours pass, so I tell him that I'll meet him there since I live farther. I'm almost there, he calls and tells me he can't make it and if we can go another day. Since I was already just about there and it was HOT, I went in and spend the whole day alone. Going on the rides (that I could actually get on because 90% you need more than one person) alone, watching the families and couples, wave pool alone, eating ice cream alone...seriously, probably the loneliest I've ever been. Who goes to a water park alone? Then, it started raining.

Never talked to him again after that. Worst and First "date" - Canceled on me. To make it worse, my mom and sisters asked how it went because I hardly ever go out and I don't have a lot of friends. I lied and told them it was great and everything because I was too embarrassed to tell them what really happened.

 

-Anonymous

Heart Crusher

The first time I asked a guy out, I forgot we were on a date and left him to go hang out with my friends. When I returned he was all lonely and stuff. I'm bad at staying in one spot so I invited him to slow dance and he did reluctantly. Although, I drove him home and I think he wanted a goodnight kiss...or at least a proper goodbye. But I was hungry and just dropped him off and went home. 1 week later I found out I crushed his heart accidentally. It's sorta embarrassing...

-A

I See London I See France... I Wish I Saw Your Underpants...

I was at a bouncy house with my best friend at the time and we were going through a bouncy maze thing and you had to squeeze through this one thing and when i did it made my pants come down.. Like underwear and everything, in front of a little girl and her mom. I pulled up my pants real fast and then a little later i heard the little girl ask her mom "isnt that the girl whos pants fell down?" I DIED! :( prolly top 3 most embarssing moments of my life.

-T

No Excuse

This one's a little vague... But I'm guessing this poor chap got stood up. Is there anything more embarrassing? ... Well, yes, yes there is. But it's pretty bad! And all C has to say is....

She never showed up.

'Nuff said, honey.

-C

Hey Hi Hoe

One time when I was late for school so i was running up the stairs in the commons and then I fell and then my skirt flew up and there were people behind me and they all saw my underwear and it was super embarrassing.


-A.W.

I'll Never Unsee That

One time I walked in on my friend's mom going to the bathroom. Not long after that, I walked in on my friend's dad going to the bathroom. They were both just like, "Hey!".... it was traumatizing.

-Anon

Not Cool Enough

I didn't know how many embarrassing experiences I had until I started this blog...

I was at school one day waiting outside my teacher's door to go into class. The bell had rang, but the teacher was still on his lunch break, so the whole class was waiting. This girl that I've known my whole life (same soccer team as kids, same elementary school. etc, etc.) came up to me and said, "Hey Anna!" in her usual perky way. I smiled and said hey back louder than was necessary. But she didn't stop at me. She continued to walk past me to the cuter, way more popular Anna behind me that I hadn't known was there... I felt so stupid. So I slowly just faded away behind a group of people. The worst part was, we were still all stuck there 'cause me teacher hadn't come back yet.

-Anna

Don't Mind Me...

Every year, I run a 50 mile race through the mountains. It usually takes around 12-14 hours and there are little to no bathroom along the way. At one point, I had to go to the bathroom, and it was a little more than just pee... So, I went to the side of the trail, pulled down my pants, and started to go. When I was in the middle of doing my business, a guy came around the corner and saw me, butt naked, taking a dump. We made eye contact, said hello, and then he went on his merry way. So embarrassing.

-K.E.

Soiled Seats

I was going on a date with my boyfriend (later husband) and some friends of ours. We were driving my boyfriend's dad's car and the girls (including myself) were in the back. At one point in the drive, there was a cliff with a lake to the side of us, and we got really close to the edge. One of the girls was so terrified that we would fall in, she peed her pants. Afterwards, we got out of the car to stretch our legs and we when we got back in, we sat in different spots. One girl got the seat that had been peed in and cried, "Ew, what is that?!" Me, knowing the girl had peed and was super embarrassed about it, tried to convince the girl that I had spilled my perfume. She wasn't satisfied with my explanation and wanted to know for herself. So, she got her big nose and put it in the pee. "That's not perfume!!! That's pee!!" She yelled. And the secret was out.
So, in the end, the girl was humiliated because she had peed and ruined the date, I looked guilty because I had covered it up (or tried to), and Dean, my boyfriend, gave the car back to his dad with soiled seats. 

-C.M.

Truth Hurts

I'm on two soccer teams, so I have two different goalies. Today, the goalie from my one team played with my other team in our game because we needed more players. Let's call her Jen. My other goalie, Katie, I love and think she is the greatest goalie I've ever had. After our game, I was congratulating Katie, telling her she's my favorite goalie ever. Then I felt a slug to the shoulder. Jen was right there. "Thanks, Anna." she said bitterly and walked away. I was so embarrassed. I don't think Jen and I are friends any more.

-Anna

This is Also Why I Don't Have Kids

I was at Lagoona Beach at Lagoon with my friend (later my wife) and her 4 kids. The kids wanted me to go on the slide that's pretty much vertical; you go straight down. Not wanting to be a party pooper, I obliged. My friend said she was going to watch. After watching a few grown men do it before me and come out fine, I figured I could do it. Well, no one told me you had to cross your legs, or else. So I go down the basically vertical slide spread eagle (my legs wide open). When I hit the base of the slide, instead of gliding across the pool like the other men had, my crotch hit solid water and I sank. It was so painful, I could hardly walk out of the pool. The girl lifeguard hurried over to me and asked if I was okay. I brushed her off, pretending like it was nothing, while on the inside I was dying.
My friend just laughed as she watched the whole thing.

-E.E.

This is Why I Don't Have Kids

One time I was riding a jumping horse and I was coming up to a jump and the horse stopped right before it. I flew over the horse and somehow landed straddling the jump. While unable to breath and holding my crotch, I slowly proceeded to rotate off the pole and to fall to the ground in immense agony. Everybody was laughing at me, but I just cried.

-E.E.

That's What You Get For Being Nice...

A long story started out really simple.
We had German Day at our high school in October.  We were practicing a lot for it and were excited to show the other high schools that we are way better than them. The day was here, and we were excused from class. It was awesome, I was supposed to stay in the library with the other 3 native Germans and talk with all the students in German. It was also called signature conversation; you had to ask questions and talk, if somebody answered the question with yes, you had to sign the paper.  I guy came up to me and was talking to me, it was fun and although he couldn’t speak really good German. He asked me one of the questions and I answered with a "yes", but I wasn’t thinking and signed with my first and last name.
I never saw this guy again on that day, but later I came home and got a friend request on facebook. I had talked to so many guys that day I couldn’t remember him, but of course I accepted the request. He started sending me massages asking me how I was,  and I would respond. He doesn't have a smartphone, so he asked me if he could have my phone number. I gave him my number and we texted. November passed and he wanted to see me again. But, I wasn’t really sure I wanted to see him, because I couldn’t remember who he was. Finally, I said yes, when he asked me to go to a movie (hobbit) with his friend and the friends girlfriend. By this point I didn’t realize that this was supposed to be a date; in Germany it is just normal to hang out with guys without any purpose. As he picked me up and introduced himself to my host mom, it got awkward. Before the movie started we had to wait, so he asked me a ton of questions. I answered everything friendly, but I never really asked anything back. I thought he would get that I didn't think it was working out between us. The movie was over and he brought me home. I thought everything was good and we would never see each other again. Wrong! Later that day he posted on his Facebook “Saw the Hobbit yesterday with three awesome people. It was so fun. After that we weren’t really texting anymore. At the end of Christmas break I had a boyfriend, that relationship lasted 7 weeks or so. I never heard back from the guy (not my ex-boyfriend, the other one I went to the movie with). One day he started texting me again. I was fine and just answered short. I never really asked questions back. Then he asked me if I could help him with his photography assignment. I said yes (my friends always tell me that I am way to nice). So he picked me up at a Friday in March. I thought the conversations at the movie were bad, but they got even worse. After he took hundreds of pictures of me at a castle, we were done. But his friend who drove wasn’t here, so we had to wait 45 minutes until he showed up. During that time it was awkward silence. I was just done and didn’t want to talk to him after this super awkward photoshoot (for one picture he wanted me to lay in the grad and he was standing over me, I was really uncomfortable). Finally his friend came and brought me home.
After that day I never responded him, he asked me if everything was ok and I said yes. I hang out with my friends just a couple days later and told them everything. They started texting him from my phone, first just about random stuff and later they asked him what he thinks about me. And he just “I wish there would be more”. If I would have known that, I would have never started the whole thing.

 -Dominique

It's A Better Window Than Door

I was sitting in school,  and first period just started. I am an Exchange Student from Germany and my family is back home in Germany. I always text my mom when I get up, when I get to school and sometimes during the day. I texted her that day before I got into the building, but she was shopping with my sister, so she didn't answer before school started. Before I got an answer from my mom, I got a text from my sister saying "Guess what?". She told me they were walking out of a store and wanted to go to the next store, but because my mom was concentrating on her phone, about to text me back, she didn't see the glass window of the bus stop and totally ran into it. That was really embarrassing for her. It made it even worse that my sister was laughing. My mom always says my sister should watch the street when she walks because she's ran into people before, but now it happened to my mom.

My sister was texting me the story and I was just cracking up in my class. Everybody was starring at me, including the teacher.

 

-Dominique

Roundolph the Red Nosed Gymnast

Once I was at Gymnastics and I was told to do a running roundolph but I had no clue what that was. So I went to my coach and I said "What is that." and she just said "Watch everbody else and then try." So I watched everybody really closely and I thought your hands weren't supposed to touch the ground so when it was my turn I sprinted as fast as I could and jumped up and face planted into the ground and everybody started to laugh and worst of all I got a really bad bloody nose so everybody had to get off the floor so they could clean the blood off the floor.

 

-A.H.

Wet Stairs

It was super rainy weather, and I had to hurry because my next class was about to start. I was speed walking to my locker to get my music and my friend was with me. After we got our stuff, we were on our way back, and I was rushing down the stairs. My shoes were still wet from walking outside and the stairs were wet too. While I was talking while nearly running down, it happened. I fell and slid down the wet stairs. It was so embarrassing. One thing was that everybody saw how I fell down the stairs. But the other thing was that my pants were wet at my butt, because the stairs were so wet. I wished the ground would open and swallowed me up at that moment.

-Dominique

Should've Stayed Home

My most embarrassing moment was in high school. I was really sick, but I didn't want to skip school. So I went! Well that was a terrible idea because in the middle of class I felt like throwing up. I got up and rushed to leave class to go to the bathroom. I didn't make it in time and instead threw up on the doorknob of the classroom. It was so embarrassing! I rushed out to the bathroom but my class was trapped in the stinky classroom because no one dared to touch the barf covered doorknob. Eventually my teacher had to use a tissue to free the classroom. While laying in the health room I could hear my class leave the room and complain of the smell.

-K.S.

Like a Slap to the Face...

One day I was walking from class. There was this big guy. And I mean big. I was just this short little freshman girl and this guy towered over me. Well, he reached out to pat his friend on the back and he missed. Instead, he slapped me in the face and left the biggest red handprint on my cheek. It hurt so bad!

-K.J.S.

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go.

One time when I was in second grade, I was a new student and so it was really scary. Well anyway I was sitting by the HOTTEST kid in the whole wide world and basically every girl in the second grade was in love with him I think his name was Ethan.  Ok so our class was being yelled at because we had a wood-chip fight during recess, but I had to go to the bathroom SO bad. I was  super scared to raise my hand and ask the teacher because she was getting mad at us. I could not hold it anymore so i just peed my pants. Now our classroom floor was tile so it just splattered and started to run down the aisle of desks. The boy I was sitting by stood up and announced really loud that i had peed my pants. I started crying and everyone in the class was staring at me while they were laughing. It was so embarrassing and I never liked that boy ever again. 

-A.W.

Soccer

When I was 13 I was playing in a soccer game. I was running with the ball and i was right in front of the goal and I tripped.. Also the guy I liked was there watching me.. he left and we lost.

-Anon

Don't Dance Like Nobody's Watching

One day, I was walking home from school listening to my music in my headphones suupperr loud. Of course, when a good song comes on you've got to dance, so I did. I was dancing like a crazy person then I hear a honk and the person who honked who a kid that I had the biggest crush on, and now they won't stop teasing me about it. Moral of the story is, don't dance like nobody's watching.

- C.C.

Because Cast are Cool... Right?

When I was in 3rd grade, I sprained my ankle a little because I jumped off the stairs. It didn't hurt a bit, but because I thought having cast was cool, I went to the hospital with my mom and had an examination thing. The doctor told me that nothing was wrong, after taking x rays and stuff, so I cried. I cried for hours begging the doctor to please give me a cast. Next day I got the cast and made everyone sign it.

-S.J.

Tackled

The other day an old friend, who I haven't seen in a few years, invited me to attend his tennis match that was at my school. I had no reason not to go, so I went. My friend Dominique came with me and we set our christmas blankets (they're the comfiest blankets I own)  up on the hill; it was the perfect view. As we are waiting for the game to start, I see my friend start to make his way over to us. Thinking that he had seen me and had come to say hi, I jumped up and started to walk to him. The awkward part was, he actually hadn't seen me and walked straight past me to his other buddy. At that point, I felt pretty stupid. But I continued to yell his name, and he finally saw me. He was so excited to see me, he ran to me, threw his arms around me and tackled me down the hill. And there we were- entangled, tumbling down the grass. Now THAT was awkward.
Afterwards, his friend came up to us and said to him, "Heard you tackled a girl down the hill. Nice one. Everyone's talking about it." And I just sat there like, yeah, that girl was me...
Not sure who that was more embarrassing for, me or him.

-Anna

What Happens in Tel Aviv, Stays in Tel Aviv..

I attended a Semester abroad in Jerusalem, Israel in the Fall of 1993.  Upon leaving, I knew very few of the students that were traveling with me. However, by the time we left to come back home, many of them knew me better than I would ever want them to.  My nickname became Princess Di, and this is how I earned the name.

 

After being in Jerusalem for about 2-3 weeks we all heard that Michael Jackson would be performing a concert in Tel Aviv the very next weekend.  There were about 10 of us who really wanted to go and paid the price for a ticket and our transportation to get to Tel Aviv.  We all shared a taxi, called a Sharut in Israel. 

 

We arrived in plenty of time to get dinner before the concert. One of the most popular places was the American restaurant, Hard Rock Café.  Most of my group voted on that and were excited for some American cuisine after 3 weeks of Israeli food.  I don’tremember what I ordered I only remember how my food made me feel later! 

 

After eating we went to the outdoor arena where the concert was to be held.  We arrived before the gates opened.  We were among the very first to run through the gates to the front row of the general admission area.  (Among the first of several thousand Israeli’s behind us.)  Once into this special area, they roped it off and if you were to leave this area you would not be admitted back. 

 

We were “roped in” 3 hours before the concert even began.  We were so packed in we could hardly move.  There was so much pushing and shoving and even people who were passing out because of the heat and dehydration.  After about an hour of waiting, I began to feel a little sick to my stomach.  I began to panick just a little and look around for a bathroom.  The only bathroom available was beyond the roped off area and about 100 yards away.  I knew if I left to use the bathroom, I would not find my group of friends (that I had just met 3 weeks earlier) again. I decided that if I was distracted enough I would forget about the sick stomach and the need to go to the bathroom would go away.  

 

Not the case! After about another hour, my slightly sick stomach was now twisting and churning.  I really was panicked now.  The concert was still an hour away from beginning and at least 2 hours of the show.  I knew that I would not be able to wait. After a few tears started streaming down my face, I decided to tell my friends my dilemma.  It was a group of 8 guys and 1 girl and they had a plan.  It was definitely a “boy scout” type of plan and I was not happy about it.  

 

They all formed a circle around me the best they could pushing the local people back a bit to try and give me room.  They handed me a CLEAR plastic bag and said “squat!”  What?  They couldn’t be serious. They were! At this point I had no choice! It was in the bag or in my pants.  With tears in my eyes I decided in the bag was a better choice.  All this for Michael Jackson? Totally!

 

When I finished, I was not sure what to do with the bag. My friend told me to hand it to her and she would dispose of it.  Not knowing what she would do, she took the bag and threw it as far as she could!  To this day, I am wondering who the person is that is telling the story of the time they got hit with a bag of pooh at the Michael Jackson concert in Tel Aviv, Israel!

 

-Anon

Embarrassing or Horrible Date/ First Kiss?

Think you can top A.P.'s terrible date story? Let's see! If you got one, send it to me at crapwillhappen@gmail.com and we'll post it!

-Anna

57 Strikes, You're Out

Alright... it's a long one. But don't ditch it yet! This horrible date/ first kiss story will leave you looking at your Friday nights with a new perspective. Trust me, this one's hard to beat. And I can confirm that it's all true, for one those "four giggly girls" that night.... was me.

One time I was randomly texted by a kid that used to be in my freshman English class. He moved out of the country and was coming back to visit for a few weeks. We were never really friends he just had a weird infatuation with me. He wanted to meet up and do something fun. Me hoping time had done wonders on his adolescent features, agreed to hanging out with him on a Saturday evening. A few days later my group of friends decided to have a girls night that same evening I made plans with this kid. We were going to meet up and get dinner at a sushi bar close by. So I agreed to attend both things. I was going to hang out with this kid at the arcade from 6-8 and then meet up with my friends from 8 until we were done. This plan was going to work perfectly given the fact that the places I was going to go were walking distances away from each other. As that Saturday rolled a round I realized I had to be the one to drive, and of course the only person who was going to let me use there car was my mother. As I rolled up to the arcade in my mothers mini van I texted him asking him where he was. He told me he was on his way and would be there shortly. I waited in the car for about 15 minutes until he finally texted me telling me he was waiting just inside the doors. I made my way to the entrance and started looking around. I expected to see someone similar but completely different from the kid I knew from English class. I looked around for awhile and didn't see him. So naturally I went straight to the bathroom to not make my myself look dumb searching for someone who wasn't there. I went back out and told myself I was going to look just once more and if I didn't find him I would leave and go home. As I made my way toward the exit again I saw a familiar face. One that hadn't changed for the better, the only thing missing was the train tracks in his mouth. We went up to each other and gave each other a hug. Everything from then I feel went down hill. He didn't know what to do at the arcade so I had to make all the decisions. He was a complete mess. We exchanged our tickets for prizes and decided to get some ice cream. We waited for a really long while and finally made it to the register to pay. The cashier told us the total and I waited for him to take out his wallet. He looked up at me expecting me to pull out my money, he tried to make me pay but I gave him a look that meant "what the heck are you doing be a gentleman and pay the lady" he reluctantly pulled out his wallet and handed the cashier a crumpled 20 dollar bill. We eat our ice cream surrounded by awkward conversation. I told him I had to leave soon so he called his siblings to come get him. They told him they would be there in about half an hour. I dreaded the fact they couldn't be there sooner but I kept a positive perspective and told myself what's half an hour. We finished and decided to make our way up to the second floor of the arcade to watch the people down below board on the flow rider. We sat by the big windows over looking the flowing water and talked about music. As we talked we realized that we liked completely different types of music and the conversation started to run dry. To distract myself I looked out the glass at the two young girls who you could tell had never experienced the flow rider before. Fall after fall and I couldn't handle it anymore, I had to share it with people. So I took out my phone and recorded it on my snapchat and posted it on my story. I got many snap chats back telling me my story was hilarious and I thought nothing of all the people watching them. Out of nowhere one of my friends from school and soccer came around the corner with her friend and we saw each other. We hugged and talked for a brief moment then she went about her day. I returned to the awful conversation with this boy and tried to revive it with questions. To all of them he was able to answer in either a few words or sentences. It was time for us to say our goodbyes and For me to make my way to the sushi place as I was running late. He called his siblings to see if they were there yet, but of course with my luck they hadn't even left yet. As he gets off the phone I could hear giggling from around the corner. I looked over and didn't see anything but a bobbing bun hiding behind wall. I walked over there knowing exactly who it was. Four giggling teenage girls who I was supposed to be meeting for sushi in a few minutes. They asked me what I was doing and I asked them how they found me. One of them reviled they saw my snap chat story and put the pieces together. Crap. So I brought them over to this kid and introduced them to him. I told him we had reservations and so I had to leave. We all went down stairs together to exit the building and I thought we were going to part ways. But no he followed us all around the walking area of the complex. I asked him if his ride was here and he said no. So we continued walking, when one of my friends mentioned that Victoria secret had their famous angel wings on one of their mannequin displays. They then dared someone to go in there and ask of they were for sale. Of course being the only boy and wanting to impress everyone the kid said he would go in, but only if I went in with him. Me being down for stupid things most of the time agreed and went in. Four of us went in while two stayed outside. We walked around for a bit till he maned up enough to ask the lady. We got to the front of the store. And he dragged me up there and began asking the poor girl if they had any of those wings for sale for his girlfriend as he motioned towards me. I was in complete shock as I didn't know this kid from Adam but I tried to keep a straight face to keep the joke believable. She nicely told us that sometimes they put them up for sale online and we could check there. We thanked her and walked out of there as my friends tried to keep from bursting out in laughter prematurely. That moment I told myself I was never going to be able to set foot in that Victoria secret again. We wondered our way over to the sushi place and I told him goodbye expecting him not to continue following us. But he did. He walked in the restaurant with us. I could not get rid of him. We were showed to our table and he of course sat himself down with us. I felt so bad. This was supposed to be a dinner for just us girls. Not just us girls and the strange kid who wouldn't stop following us. We all came to the realization that he wasn't going to leave before we ordered so we went ahead and told the waitress our orders. We got our food and of course you know that every plate of sushi comes with it's own heaps of ginger and wasabi. We dared each other to put as much wasabi as we could in our mouths and keep it down. We each took small portions and kept them down. But then this kid wanted to top it all. He shoved the whole chunk of wasabi into his mouth and struggled to keep it in there. He couldn't handle it anymore so he made quick dash for the door. He was gone for quite awhile and us girls talked about things we would normally talk about while not in the presence of a boy. He made his way back with his eyes watering trying to keep it together. I was then dared to consume a huge portion as well. I did all I could to keep it down but I needed to leave. I made my way to the door and emptied the contents of my mouth on the sidewalk. As I lifted my head up I realized the kid had followed me out. Before I could stand up all the way and wipe my mouth he gave me the weirdest hug anyone could ever give or receive. We made our way back awkwardly and sat back down. We rapped up our dinner and made our way out. As we passed a big snow heap he pointed out the exact spot where he threw up his wasabi. Awesome right? Us girls made the agreement to meet up at one of our houses to eat cookies and talk for a minute, so we made our way towards our cars. I asked him if his siblings were ever going to come get him and he said no. So he followed me to my car so I could take him home. We made the silent journey to his house and parked right in front. He told me he had a good time and I agreed to be polite. We then went in for a hug but it didn't go the way it should have. I positioned my head to the side of his like you normally would for a hug but he didn't do the same. Instead he wrapped his face around and tried to kiss me. He completely missed. The whole situation got super super awkward. He left the car and went into his house. I made my way as fast as I could to meet my friends and tell them the events of the night.

-A.P.

Presentations

When I was in 7th grade and everyone in history class had to make a presentation about a president of United States. We had to do it for 5 minutes. I was very very nervous. When I was presenting I was shaking a little, I couldn't talk well and I was sweating. Wow that was a bad feeling.

-T.S.

Woowhoo, Anybody There?

Something embarrassing happen like 5 months ago. I was inside a Chase bank then I look outside and there was a nice Camaro. I was staring it for like 3 seconds then I notice a girl was struggling to open the door because she had 3 coffee cups. I was going to help her but it was too late.

-T.S.

The Answer's Not Always Yes...

Or once I had a long distance call with my cousin and could barely hear what she was saying, so I just said "Good" and "I agree" a lot despite not understanding a word of what she said. She didn't quite like that I replied "Good" after she told me that she broke her foot. Or that I replied "I agree" when she said that her boyfriend called her a b**** and a slut.

F.B.

Squirrels Go Nuts

This happened when I was a kid.
I was walking home from school with my two bros and a baby squirrel wandered off a tree towards us.
So my oldest bro noticed and points it out.

"Look, a baby squirrel!" he yells.

And before we can turn around, the squirrel jumped to my big bro's leg and started climbing on him.
He started screaming helplessly wagging his pudgy leg around while my other bro and I just laughed at him. The baby squirrel headed for his crotch and then he grabbed it and threw it in the air.

REALLY high in the air.

The baby squirrel landed on its back and died. And we sorta left the body on the sidewalk...

Pretty ironic though, in a sick funny way.
The squirrel was after my brother's nuts! Lol


-J

Pardon My French

I was trying to show off my French to my French neighbor when I asked to borrow his mattress: "Je voudrais emprunter votre maîtresse." As it turns out, the word "maîtresse" means "mistress". When he asked me why I wanted to borrow his "maîtresse", I answered, "to sleep with"!  

-F.B.

A Nighmare in Hale

One night, my grandma invited me to a play at the Hale Center Theater in Orem. For those that haven't been there, the stage is basically ten by ten feet and the chairs circle around it. So it's a pretty cozy, intimate place. Anywho, we start the night off going to a nice dinner and frozen yogurt, and I'm feeling fine. Right before the play starts, I start to feel sick to my stomach, but I brush it off. We take our seats, which are right smack dab in the middle row in the middle seat, and the play starts. I'm doing okay, but my stomach really isn't feeling all that hot. Then about 15 minutes into the play, I feel like I'm about to die. But I don't feel like I'm going to throw up and I don't feel like I'm going to.. you know, have it come out the other end, so I just wait it out hoping the feeling passes, because it's pretty rude to get up in the middle of a play (especially in a place that small). However, there comes a point when I just CAN NOT sit there any longer. So, I hop up, stumble over everybody, get to the isle way-- and all heck breaks lose. All of the sudden, I'm barfing EVERYWHERE and can't stop. Some stage manager hands me a trash can, and I continue to throw up into that. And I'm barfing so hard... it comes out the other end as well. So here I am, barfing and crapping my pants all at the same time. I'm humiliated and I smell awful. However, I have to walk BACK into the theater and ask my grandma for her phone to call my dad. After convincing grandma that, yes, I did need to leave and could not stay for the rest of the play, she relents and hands over her phone. So I call my dad, he says he's on his way, and I go sit on the bench outside the building. But it doesn't end there. Suddenly, I look up and see a stag door opening and four figures walking out-- they're the actors from the play and they decide to come talk to me. They ask if I was the girl who threw up everywhere (and ruined the play, hint hint), then tell me their stories of barfing in grade school. And all the while I'm just thinking, "I smell like throw up and poo, don't you have a play to get to??"

-Anna

Bloody Fingers

A few months ago, I had a really important piano recital. I felt really confident and prepared. My song was challenging, but I was sure I could play it perfectly. I was listed second to last on the program, and as it got closer and closer to my turn, I started to feel nervous. When it was finally my turn, I sat down to play, and I started, but the notes WOULD NOT COME. so I started again, and still, couldn't do it. So, I just sat down and let the last girl go. I tried to calm down and reassure myself that I would be ok. after she finished, I went back up to actually play my song. I started with no problems, but I noticed that there was something like blood on the keys. I looked down at my hands and my right hand had a bloody hangnail, and I was bleeding all over the piano. and by then, I had already started over so many times, I just kept on going. but I felt SO BAD, and I made my teacher disinfect the keys after I was done! My finger looked pretty nasty by the time I finished!

-M.C.

Red Dress

We love our friends in Germany!

Back when I was 6... I went to a wedding with my mom, my dad and my brother. We were all dressed up and my mom's dress was red. After the church, we kids were allowed to play, so we were all playing. I came back to ask my mom something and was looking for her. One woman in a red dress was bending over and I thought it was my mom. So, I ran to her and hit her butt with my hand. Then the woman turned  around. I was so scared when I realized that it wasn't my mom, that I just ran away...

 -Laura

While I Was Sleeping...

One time I, when I was in grade school, I fell asleep during class and tooted. After, I made a huge deal about it, trying to convince people it wasn't me, which only made them think it was me even more.

-B.P.

Leave A Comment!

Can you sympathize with any of these stories? Leave a comment! Let that person know they're not alone.
Is there one story cracking you up? Leave a comment! It feels good to gets some feedback!
Don't be afraid to comment!

-Anna

My Ross Geller Moment

Once upon a time, there was a pretty cute boy in my math class. He as also in my English class, and I thought I saw him staring at me during English quite often... One day, during math, there was one minute left and I was trying to get as much of my problems done as I could before the bell rang. Out of the blue, cute boy says, "How many problems can you do in one minute? Ready, go!" Later, my friends tried to convince me that this was his way of flirting... but I didn't see it that way. Especially at the time. So I just looked at him and stared. I racked my brain of SOMETHING to say... but my mind was blank. How the crap was I supposed to respond to that without sounding like an idiot, "Um.. ten." ??  After 15 seconds of awkward eye contact, he says, "So.... none?" "Yep." I finally replied. And he walked away probably thinking I was the biggest idiot he's ever talked to. He hasn't looked at me or said a word to me since...
Wait for it.
Later, I was facebook stalking him (come on, we ALL do this). And you know how it is; after so long, you get pretty deep into photos, some of which are years old. While in these years-old photos, I tried to tap next, but accidently tapped over his face. Somehow, some freakin how, I managed to tag myself as him in the photo. So now I was tagged as him and he was going to get a notification about it and he would know that I was totally FB stalking him. I dreaded the next day at school.
The more I think about it... "Um...ten." probably would have been less stupid sounding than acting like a complete mute.

-Anna

Grape Hazards

And another one from our friends in Germany!

I work in a supermarket. One day, I was walking through it to give a message to one of my colleagues. I was going pretty fast and was carrying the office phone in my back pocket. I didn't see a grape on the floor and I sliped and fall in middle of the fruit section. Everybody was starring at me and, in that moment, I realized that I crushed the office phone in my back pocket (because I am not the skinniest person).

 -Natascha

Crashes and Crushes

Oh Germany...

 Me and my friend, Dominique, went on a bike ride because we wanted to pick up our pictures from a photoshoot we had taken a week before. We picked the pictures up after biking for 30 minutes. On our way back we got ice cream. Back on our bikes, we were in a really good mood and were making jokes and weren't paying attentiom to the street. Then we crashed into each other. Not that this was allready embarrassing; we've been riding bikes since we are 3 and never really crashed. But, while we were picking up our stuff, my crush passed us. He laughed at us. In that moment, I wished I wasn't there.

 -Laura

The Opera Singer

#WhenSeeminglyGoodIdeasBackfire  

Was walking through the parking lot with a friend and starting singing the Titanic love song "my heart will go on" and was singing really loud and obnoxious and got to the part in the song that has a big long note and I was singing it as loud and off tune as I could, while hitting my chest like Celine Dion does. Didn't notice my friend had gone and hid behind a car while a group of other people were coming my way. So the people totally stared at me thinking I was alone singing as if I was in the opera, all by myself. They just looked at me like I was crazy and I smiled thinking my friend would be laughing behind me, when I turned around and she wasn't there I was super embarrassed.

-C.M.

Got a Story?

Seriously, if you have a story, send it to me!!! That would be so awesome! Don't worry about being embarrassed (ha...ha), I'll keep it anonymous if that's what you're most comfortable with.
If you got one you're willing to share, please send it to crapwillhappen@gmail.com and I'll post it on the blog!

-Anna

If It Can Happen, It Will

… And another from our German friend.

In Germany you have to do a presentation every year and it is worth a lot of points. I prepared a lot and, as always,  was really into the topic. I was really confident about my presentation. My classmates always love my presentations because they’re funny, but you still learn a lot. I go up front, set everything up and start my presentation.

It was awesome, people were laughing when I made a joke and my teacher seemed to like it.

Then it happened. In Germany we still have chalkboards and, in the classrooms we were in, the legs of it were really weird and stood out. I totally tripped over it. It was so embarrassing. Everybody was laughing at me.

-Dominique

Will I Ever Learn?

Hey guys, back again with another one.

So I'm at the movie theater and my movie just ended. Like always, my family makes a pit stop at the bathroom on the way out. So I go too. Naturally, I set toilet paper down (duh) to cover the seat and do my business. It all goes well, I finish, wash my hands, etc., etc., yeah yeah. Then we leave. That night, my little brother was in a play at my elementary school. I think I'm like the big cheese or something because I'm a sixth grader now (lets remember this story takes place a good 5-6 years ago) and I BASICALLY rule that school. So I go, and I'm too-cool-for-school so I stand all cool-like against the wall. I talk to some people I know, walk around a bit (cause, obviously, I'm too cool for just standing), talk to some more people. The night's going great. When it comes time to leave, we walk back to our car and while I'm walking, my cousin says, "Oh, nice, Anna!" and pulls a 3 foot long piece of toilet paper out of my pants.
I didn't feel so cool then.
In fact, I was mortified. I never wanted to step foot in that school, or see any of those people, ever again.

Oh yeah... reminds me of a time I was at a soccer game of mine. I use aporta poty then walk across the field in front of EVERYONE. Yes, once again, I had toilet paper hanging out of my pants.

Wait... I was at dinner one night at a nice restaurant with my whole family. Once again, I use the restroom and sit back down in my seat. After dinner is over, I get a Snap Chat of... me. It's the back of my pants, and there's toilet paper hanging from it.

Will I ever learn?
No... No, never.

-Anna Warner (me)

The Skort

Can't choose between a skirt or shorts? Simple-- go skort. But in this case, maybe she should have gone shorts... 

So in 3rd grade one day I had to go to the bathroom. And that day I was wearing a purple skort. When I was done, I accidentally tucked the back of my skort into the shorts that were connected to it. And when I got back to class no one told me for forever, till towards the end of the day some boy told me my skort was tucked into my skirt and I was so embarrassed

 

-E.N

 

Test Nerves

My most embarrassing moment would be when I was taking my final tests in 2nd grade and I barfed all over my test.

-Anonymous 

Goin' Fishin'

Toilets...Why must everything end up there?

During middle school I was in a musical which required a few costume changes. We would all pile into the few stalls to change privately. One time while changing out of my regular school clothes and into my costume I spilled all the contents of my pockets onto the floor.  I had brought change for the vending machine because the show was going to run long. As I gathered up all my belongings I noticed I was missing a golden dollar that I had packed special. I looked around and checked everywhere I could think. As I stood up from checking the floor something shiny caught my eye from inside the toilet bowl. I was in so much shock that I exclaimed. My friend in the next stall over asked me what was wrong and we exited our stalls at the same. I pointed at the toilet bowl with a disgusted look on my face. As my friend chuckled at my pain I realized my fate. If i didn't want to starve I was going to have to reach in there and get my money out. I asked my friend to turn on the hot water in the closest sink and I prepared myself physically and mentally. I pulled up my sleeves and pried open the stall door. I took a deep breath and went in. I reached in there with one hand and held back my slipping sleeve with the other. I fished out the coin and made my way to the sink as fast as I could. I dropped it in the hot flowing water and stuck my hand and arm in it as well. All the while my friend was laughing her head off. After a bit I started to clam down and opened my wincing eyes. There just a few sinks down was the mother and smaller sister of one of the popular cast members. My friend tried to hold back her laughter and my face turned the color of a tomato. As they finally made their way out my friend lost control of her laughter and my head hung in embarrassment.

- A.P.

Nose Complications

LBH, we've all had snot issues. And if you haven't yet, you will. Just wait. 

Basically,
Once upon a time there was a 12 year old girl who was getting set apart for a calling in her church. It was allergy season and as the blessing was occurring, her nose began to run quite heavily. Not wanting to disrupt the meeting, she let the nose run. Once the blessing was finished, she realized a 6 inch string of booger was hanging out of her nose. Before anyone noticed, she grabbed it, and hid it in her hand. This would've worked well had the men blessing her not gone for handshakes following the blessing. It was a terrifying experience.

-B.R.

Christmas Market

Crap doesn't just happen in America folks.

I was trying to sell my self-made necklaces at a Christmas market in Germany, but I was really frustrated because it wasn't selling. After I had been there for 8 hours, I was done. It was 7pm and my parents decided that we should just go because it wouldn't make sense to stay for 2 more hours until the market closed.

We talked to the manager of the Christmas market and she was fine with it, we just had to be quite. When we were all packed up, we began to exit the building. I grabbed the last box full off stuff and it was really heavy. My family was nearly out of the building, so I was trying to hurry and go fast down the stairs. But because the box I had in my hand was really big, I couldn't see the stairs. So I fell all the way, and because I was so surprised that I was falling, I screamed and everything fell out of the box.

So we weren't really quiet in the end, and everybody saw me falling down the stairs. I was really embarrassed. 

-Dominique

The High Pitched Squeal

The apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.... here's a story from dad himself.

When I was in high school, I say in the front of the room in my geometry class and a cute girl I liked at right behind me. One day while everyone was taking a test and the room was  completely silent, I could feel a toot coming on and I couldn't suppress it any more. I figured that if I could sit just right and spread my butt cheeks apart a little that I might be able to ease out a little gas silently. But to my great embarrassment, it squeaked out loudly like a high pitched squeal which was amplified by my chair. I could hear chuckles, and so I clunked my head down on the desk in total shame!
No one said anything until a few days later when at an assembly, one of my friends said "Hey Warner! I heard ya let a raunchy one in geometry class!" I asked him who told him, and he referred to the girl who was sitting behind me. /:  I never wanted to go to that class and when I finally did, the girl had decided to sit somewhere else!

- Dad

What's your story?

Hey guys.
I get it. Life is rough. You try and you try, but it seems like no matter what you do, you're constantly drowning in the crap of life. Let's face it-- crap happens. Don't deny it. The best way to push through crap is to accept it and move on. Then again, it does happen to everyone!
But, the best part is, eventually you will look back on all your mortifying experiences and all the crap you suffered through and realize that you have some great stories to tell. Some are unbelievable, some are humorous, but all are priceless.

Let me share with one of my most prime stories.

Now, I could tell you about the time I tooted in the face of the boy sitting next to me in 5th grade, or of the time I drove right in front of a fire truck, just about cutting it off (In my defense, the light was green). But no, those events don't even come close to taking the cake.
Why don't you just sit back, relax, and reminisce with me as I relate with you my most priceless story yet.

Anybody that knows me knows that I may (or may not) have a bladder problem. I can hold it in for as long as the next girl... but if you tickle me or make me laugh too hard, I will pee. No if's, and's, or but's- it will happen (That in and of itself is embarrassing enough). And when it's been a long day at soccer practice and I've already been holding my bladder for a while because the only bathroom around was a narsty porta potty a mile away, you know craps about to go down.
It was half way through practice when my 20 year old boy coach announces he'd like to go one-on-one with each of us, just to see where our skills are. I don't mind this, because I'm pretty confident in myself, and coach doesn't scare me. All the girls take their turn successfully (more or less) as they attempt to steal the ball from him. Then it's my turn. I kick the ball to him and run up to defend. Everything is going great; I'm keeping him out and almost getting my foot on the ball. But then he decides to get fancy with his footwork- it pretty much went downhill from there. As he did a complex cross over, my feet got tangled up in his, and down we went. He falls first, and then it's my turn. Before I know it, my 13 year old self is draped prone over my 20 year old coach.
Wait for it, because it gets worse.
 Swiftly, I roll off of him. As I lay there in the grass, I feel so awkward, I don't know what to do-- so I laugh. But he doesn't find it at all humorous. Instead of sharing the laugh, he hops up and, without taking a second glance at me, yells "Next!". I'm about to get up when I realize I'm wet; I've peed my pants... on top of my coach. Let me simplify; I had just peed on my soccer coach.
I glanced to the porta potty-- it'd have to do; this was no time for being picky. I hopped up and I ran, didn't grab no bag or nothin', I ran, like I've never ran before, to that freakin porta potty. For ten minutes, I desperately tried to dry my shorts with toilet paper, but it was to no avail. Mortified and feeling like an idiot, I walked slowly back to practice, hoping nobody could tell that my shorts were soaking wet. But I think my coach already knew.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of the time I peed on my soccer coach. I hope you had a good laugh, or a good smile- whichever you needed.  Heaven knows we all need a good something these days. And heaven also knows it's nice to get these stories off our chest. So now it's your turn: What's your story? Share it for others, share it for yourself.

If you have an embarrassing, "What the heck", or any other unbelievable story you're willing to share with the world, email it to me at crapwillhappen@gmail.com and I'll post it on the blog! Don't be ashamed! We'd love to hear it!