My first kiss was a disaster at age 15. It with a guy friend during a walk in the park. We were sitting on a bench at dusk under a canopy of huge palm trees, and the crickets had started chirping.
For several months, I had developed a serious crush on him. We shared a few classes together, and I always happily assumed that he was a nice gentleman.
We started off by slowly nuzzling our noses together. When the kiss finally came, I tilted my head so our noses were on each other's cheeks. The kiss was slow, wet, sloppy... and really romantic.
We kissed a second time...
My heart was fluttering. It felt like the incredible thrill that I'd get on the parachute ride at Six Flags where they hoist you up 10 stories and then let you free fall down... the kind where you just stand up in a metal bucket cage, hold on, and there aren't even any seat belts. I was breathless, giddy, and excited beyond words. Really excited. Butterflies in the tummy.
A few moments after the second kiss ended, he asked me to come over to his house and wanted me to have sex with him quickly before his parents returned from work. My heart immediately sank as the sick realization hit me like a hard punch to the tummy. His offer wasn't a compliment!!! My crush wasn't a handsome hero... he was just another rude, selfish, h*rny, lazy pig. Another jerk like the ones I'd heard my friends complain about.
The truth was, I realized, that he didn't give a crap about me or my feelings. He didn't even want to bother wasting a little of his time or money to seduce me... thank goodness (because I might have fallen for his lies).
Of course, I refused. After he left in a huff, I wept quietly for half an hour. No one noticed me or my tears in the growing darkness under the canopy of palms topped by the last remnants of a beautiful sunset.
The tears were also for having my arrogance and smugness turned upside down into humility. Even though I had zero experience with guys, whenever I heard of a problem that a guy caused a girl... I always thought to myself "That would never happen to me!".
Well, it had finally happened to me.
-B
No comments:
Post a Comment