A Nighmare in Hale

One night, my grandma invited me to a play at the Hale Center Theater in Orem. For those that haven't been there, the stage is basically ten by ten feet and the chairs circle around it. So it's a pretty cozy, intimate place. Anywho, we start the night off going to a nice dinner and frozen yogurt, and I'm feeling fine. Right before the play starts, I start to feel sick to my stomach, but I brush it off. We take our seats, which are right smack dab in the middle row in the middle seat, and the play starts. I'm doing okay, but my stomach really isn't feeling all that hot. Then about 15 minutes into the play, I feel like I'm about to die. But I don't feel like I'm going to throw up and I don't feel like I'm going to.. you know, have it come out the other end, so I just wait it out hoping the feeling passes, because it's pretty rude to get up in the middle of a play (especially in a place that small). However, there comes a point when I just CAN NOT sit there any longer. So, I hop up, stumble over everybody, get to the isle way-- and all heck breaks lose. All of the sudden, I'm barfing EVERYWHERE and can't stop. Some stage manager hands me a trash can, and I continue to throw up into that. And I'm barfing so hard... it comes out the other end as well. So here I am, barfing and crapping my pants all at the same time. I'm humiliated and I smell awful. However, I have to walk BACK into the theater and ask my grandma for her phone to call my dad. After convincing grandma that, yes, I did need to leave and could not stay for the rest of the play, she relents and hands over her phone. So I call my dad, he says he's on his way, and I go sit on the bench outside the building. But it doesn't end there. Suddenly, I look up and see a stag door opening and four figures walking out-- they're the actors from the play and they decide to come talk to me. They ask if I was the girl who threw up everywhere (and ruined the play, hint hint), then tell me their stories of barfing in grade school. And all the while I'm just thinking, "I smell like throw up and poo, don't you have a play to get to??"

-Anna