Hey guys, back again with another one.
So I'm at the movie theater and my movie just ended. Like always, my family makes a pit stop at the bathroom on the way out. So I go too. Naturally, I set toilet paper down (duh) to cover the seat and do my business. It all goes well, I finish, wash my hands, etc., etc., yeah yeah. Then we leave. That night, my little brother was in a play at my elementary school. I think I'm like the big cheese or something because I'm a sixth grader now (lets remember this story takes place a good 5-6 years ago) and I BASICALLY rule that school. So I go, and I'm too-cool-for-school so I stand all cool-like against the wall. I talk to some people I know, walk around a bit (cause, obviously, I'm too cool for just standing), talk to some more people. The night's going great. When it comes time to leave, we walk back to our car and while I'm walking, my cousin says, "Oh, nice, Anna!" and pulls a 3 foot long piece of toilet paper out of my pants.
I didn't feel so cool then.
In fact, I was mortified. I never wanted to step foot in that school, or see any of those people, ever again.
Oh yeah... reminds me of a time I was at a soccer game of mine. I use aporta poty then walk across the field in front of EVERYONE. Yes, once again, I had toilet paper hanging out of my pants.
Wait... I was at dinner one night at a nice restaurant with my whole family. Once again, I use the restroom and sit back down in my seat. After dinner is over, I get a Snap Chat of... me. It's the back of my pants, and there's toilet paper hanging from it.
Will I ever learn?
No... No, never.
-Anna Warner (me)
Saturday, April 18, 2015
The Skort
Can't choose between a skirt or shorts? Simple-- go skort. But in this case, maybe she should have gone shorts...
So in 3rd grade one day I had to go to the bathroom. And that day I was wearing a purple skort. When I was done, I accidentally tucked the back of my skort into the shorts that were connected to it. And when I got back to class no one told me for forever, till towards the end of the day some boy told me my skort was tucked into my skirt and I was so embarrassed
So in 3rd grade one day I had to go to the bathroom. And that day I was wearing a purple skort. When I was done, I accidentally tucked the back of my skort into the shorts that were connected to it. And when I got back to class no one told me for forever, till towards the end of the day some boy told me my skort was tucked into my skirt and I was so embarrassed
-E.N
Friday, April 17, 2015
Test Nerves
My most embarrassing moment would be when I was taking my final tests in 2nd grade and I barfed all over my test.
-Anonymous
-Anonymous
Goin' Fishin'
Toilets...Why must everything end up there?
During middle school I was in a musical which required a few costume changes. We would all pile into the few stalls to change privately. One time while changing out of my regular school clothes and into my costume I spilled all the contents of my pockets onto the floor. I had brought change for the vending machine because the show was going to run long. As I gathered up all my belongings I noticed I was missing a golden dollar that I had packed special. I looked around and checked everywhere I could think. As I stood up from checking the floor something shiny caught my eye from inside the toilet bowl. I was in so much shock that I exclaimed. My friend in the next stall over asked me what was wrong and we exited our stalls at the same. I pointed at the toilet bowl with a disgusted look on my face. As my friend chuckled at my pain I realized my fate. If i didn't want to starve I was going to have to reach in there and get my money out. I asked my friend to turn on the hot water in the closest sink and I prepared myself physically and mentally. I pulled up my sleeves and pried open the stall door. I took a deep breath and went in. I reached in there with one hand and held back my slipping sleeve with the other. I fished out the coin and made my way to the sink as fast as I could. I dropped it in the hot flowing water and stuck my hand and arm in it as well. All the while my friend was laughing her head off. After a bit I started to clam down and opened my wincing eyes. There just a few sinks down was the mother and smaller sister of one of the popular cast members. My friend tried to hold back her laughter and my face turned the color of a tomato. As they finally made their way out my friend lost control of her laughter and my head hung in embarrassment.
- A.P.
During middle school I was in a musical which required a few costume changes. We would all pile into the few stalls to change privately. One time while changing out of my regular school clothes and into my costume I spilled all the contents of my pockets onto the floor. I had brought change for the vending machine because the show was going to run long. As I gathered up all my belongings I noticed I was missing a golden dollar that I had packed special. I looked around and checked everywhere I could think. As I stood up from checking the floor something shiny caught my eye from inside the toilet bowl. I was in so much shock that I exclaimed. My friend in the next stall over asked me what was wrong and we exited our stalls at the same. I pointed at the toilet bowl with a disgusted look on my face. As my friend chuckled at my pain I realized my fate. If i didn't want to starve I was going to have to reach in there and get my money out. I asked my friend to turn on the hot water in the closest sink and I prepared myself physically and mentally. I pulled up my sleeves and pried open the stall door. I took a deep breath and went in. I reached in there with one hand and held back my slipping sleeve with the other. I fished out the coin and made my way to the sink as fast as I could. I dropped it in the hot flowing water and stuck my hand and arm in it as well. All the while my friend was laughing her head off. After a bit I started to clam down and opened my wincing eyes. There just a few sinks down was the mother and smaller sister of one of the popular cast members. My friend tried to hold back her laughter and my face turned the color of a tomato. As they finally made their way out my friend lost control of her laughter and my head hung in embarrassment.
- A.P.
Nose Complications
LBH, we've all had snot issues. And if you haven't yet, you will. Just wait.
Basically,
Once upon a time there was a 12 year old girl who was getting set apart for a calling in her church. It was allergy season and as the blessing was occurring, her nose began to run quite heavily. Not wanting to disrupt the meeting, she let the nose run. Once the blessing was finished, she realized a 6 inch string of booger was hanging out of her nose. Before anyone noticed, she grabbed it, and hid it in her hand. This would've worked well had the men blessing her not gone for handshakes following the blessing. It was a terrifying experience.
-B.R.
Basically,
Once upon a time there was a 12 year old girl who was getting set apart for a calling in her church. It was allergy season and as the blessing was occurring, her nose began to run quite heavily. Not wanting to disrupt the meeting, she let the nose run. Once the blessing was finished, she realized a 6 inch string of booger was hanging out of her nose. Before anyone noticed, she grabbed it, and hid it in her hand. This would've worked well had the men blessing her not gone for handshakes following the blessing. It was a terrifying experience.
-B.R.
Christmas Market
Crap doesn't just happen in America folks.
I was trying to sell my self-made necklaces at a Christmas market in Germany, but I was really frustrated because it wasn't selling. After I had been there for 8 hours, I was done. It was 7pm and my parents decided that we should just go because it wouldn't make sense to stay for 2 more hours until the market closed.
We talked to the manager of the Christmas market and she was fine with it, we just had to be quite. When we were all packed up, we began to exit the building. I grabbed the last box full off stuff and it was really heavy. My family was nearly out of the building, so I was trying to hurry and go fast down the stairs. But because the box I had in my hand was really big, I couldn't see the stairs. So I fell all the way, and because I was so surprised that I was falling, I screamed and everything fell out of the box.
So we weren't really quiet in the end, and everybody saw me falling down the stairs. I was really embarrassed.
-Dominique
The High Pitched Squeal
The apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.... here's a story from dad himself.
When I was in high school, I say in the front of the room in my geometry class and a cute girl I liked at right behind me. One day while everyone was taking a test and the room was completely silent, I could feel a toot coming on and I couldn't suppress it any more. I figured that if I could sit just right and spread my butt cheeks apart a little that I might be able to ease out a little gas silently. But to my great embarrassment, it squeaked out loudly like a high pitched squeal which was amplified by my chair. I could hear chuckles, and so I clunked my head down on the desk in total shame!
No one said anything until a few days later when at an assembly, one of my friends said "Hey Warner! I heard ya let a raunchy one in geometry class!" I asked him who told him, and he referred to the girl who was sitting behind me. /: I never wanted to go to that class and when I finally did, the girl had decided to sit somewhere else!
- Dad
When I was in high school, I say in the front of the room in my geometry class and a cute girl I liked at right behind me. One day while everyone was taking a test and the room was completely silent, I could feel a toot coming on and I couldn't suppress it any more. I figured that if I could sit just right and spread my butt cheeks apart a little that I might be able to ease out a little gas silently. But to my great embarrassment, it squeaked out loudly like a high pitched squeal which was amplified by my chair. I could hear chuckles, and so I clunked my head down on the desk in total shame!
No one said anything until a few days later when at an assembly, one of my friends said "Hey Warner! I heard ya let a raunchy one in geometry class!" I asked him who told him, and he referred to the girl who was sitting behind me. /: I never wanted to go to that class and when I finally did, the girl had decided to sit somewhere else!
- Dad
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