Screw Up

The other day at work, some customer complained to me about the Dr. Pepper being out of syrup. So, reluctantly, I headed to the back to put a knew thing of syrup on the pump. It was my first time doing it by myself, but I was determined. But, first off, those syrup bags are HEAVY. It's like trying to lift a house of its foundation-- that's how freaking heavy they are. Somehow, though, I manage to get the syrup down and onto the cart. I begin opening the cardboard, but the whole isn't big enough to get the nozzle out, so I grab a knife. Now, lets get something straight, that cardboard syrup box was plastered with no less than 10 pictures  of "do not use knives" signs. But I told myself I'd just be extra careful. As I start sawing the cardboard away, suddenly a dark liquid starts oozing everywhere--- I'd poked the bag. Before I knew it, I had my shift manager, co-worker, and boss all surrounding me. My co-worker kept saying with a grave voice and a confused look in his eyes, "It says don't use knives! It says it everywhere! Don't use knives!" They ended up having to throw the whole thing of syrup away (which my step dad later informed had to be fairly expensive) and I was mortified. I asked my boss if I was fired and he responded with, "No, as long as you aren't messing up everyday, you're okay." "But I am messing up everyday!" I said. He thought about this for a second, then said, " Well, that's true." Neither of us really knew what to say after that.

What have I done

The other day I'm sitting in debate class and we're talking about kids and when they mature. My teacher brought up the point that all kids mature at different times. He gave an example of his wife, who didn't  start having a period until she was 16. That in and of itself was a bit awkward, but not too bad. He goes on to say, "I know, all the girls here are going, 'What?! I started when I was like 4!'" Of course, all the girls in the room start to laugh knowing full well that it's basically impossible to go through puberty at that age. Me, always repeating everything funny that I hear, scoffed and said, "I started when I was 4!" Just then, the little freshman in front of me turns around and gives me the most horrified look I've ever seen in my life, thinking that I really had started when I was four. I just stared back at him, not really knowing what to say. Yeah, it was just a freshman, but the senior boy next to him was pretty fine looking, and if he was anywhere near as ignorant as the freshman, he also thought I started puberty at age four. So there I was, sitting in debate class, everyone uneducated thinking I was some kind of freak of nature. I didn't know how to explain to them that I was just repeating what the teacher had said. All I could think was, "What have I done."

Jobs

I started my new job yesterday....
It's at a Mexican restaurant and I'm the only white, non-Hispanic there. I could barely understand anybody and I messed up countless times. I made a fool out of myself in front of everybody. It was a bit humiliating.

Do you have any terrible work experiences? Let us know about them!

-Anna

Not What it Seems

My first kiss was a disaster at age 15. It with a guy friend during a walk in the park. We were sitting on a bench at dusk under a canopy of huge palm trees, and the crickets had started chirping.

For several months, I had developed a serious crush on him. We shared a few classes together, and I always happily assumed that he was a nice gentleman.

We started off by slowly nuzzling our noses together. When the kiss finally came, I tilted my head so our noses were on each other's cheeks. The kiss was slow, wet, sloppy... and really romantic.

We kissed a second time...

My heart was fluttering. It felt like the incredible thrill that I'd get on the parachute ride at Six Flags where they hoist you up 10 stories and then let you free fall down... the kind where you just stand up in a metal bucket cage, hold on, and there aren't even any seat belts. I was breathless, giddy, and excited beyond words. Really excited. Butterflies in the tummy.

A few moments after the second kiss ended, he asked me to come over to his house and wanted me to have sex with him quickly before his parents returned from work. My heart immediately sank as the sick realization hit me like a hard punch to the tummy. His offer wasn't a compliment!!! My crush wasn't a handsome hero... he was just another rude, selfish, h*rny, lazy pig. Another jerk like the ones I'd heard my friends complain about.

The truth was, I realized, that he didn't give a crap about me or my feelings. He didn't even want to bother wasting a little of his time or money to seduce me... thank goodness (because I might have fallen for his lies).

Of course, I refused. After he left in a huff, I wept quietly for half an hour. No one noticed me or my tears in the growing darkness under the canopy of palms topped by the last remnants of a beautiful sunset.

The tears were also for having my arrogance and smugness turned upside down into humility. Even though I had zero experience with guys, whenever I heard of a problem that a guy caused a girl... I always thought to myself "That would never happen to me!".

Well, it had finally happened to me. 

-B

Car Troubles

My car doors aren't automatic. Yeah, that means you gotta roll the windows up by hand and lock all the doors one by one. It's pretty awful, but a car's a car. Anywho, I've locked myself out of my car countless times. It's the worst feeling ever. One week, I locked myself out 3 times! My dad had to come break in to it for me each time, and it was humiliating.
After locking myself out for the fourth time, I realized I needed to be more careful. So, I made sure I always had my keys with me and it became habit to check that I had my keys BEFORE locking the car and stepping out. A few months went by, and pretty soon I had a good streak going.
Until one day when I was in a hurry.
I was clear down the street, almost a block from my house, when I had to quickly jump out of my car. I can't even remember why I had to get out, but I know I had to; I was in a huge hurry. Anywho, I accomplish whatever I needed to step out of the car for, and turn to go back into my car-- psych, it's locked. I check all the doors-- all locked. GREAT.
So there I am, in the middle of an already narrow street, blocking traffic, my car is STILL running so I'm wasting my gas, and times ticking away. My dad was home sick, so I didn't want to bother him (plus, he lives a mile away). My step-dad was at home taking a nap, and he didn't want to help. And no one else was home. So I grabbed a hanger and some screw drivers and tried to mimic what I'd seen my dad do to break into my car.
I've never been so humiliated in all my life.
I was there for an hour, blocking traffic in the middle of the street, with everyone I've ever known squeezing around my car. Not one person stopped to help. In fact, my Uncle was even coming down the street, and turned THE OTHER WAY so he wouldn't have to help me. I looked worn, sweaty, helpless, and absolutely pathetic. I've never felt so bad for myself in all my life. And to make matters worse, I started bawling.
I finally ended up calling my dad. After another 35 minutes, we finally got it open. My gas was basically gone and so was my dignity.

-Anna

Send Your Story!

Like these stories? Hahaha, I do too! But I'm running out! Please, if you have a story, send it to me! I'll keep it anonymous if you wish! Come on, do it for the blog!

-Anna

I Will Not Be Ignored...

We were on a family road trip and stopped at a gas station to use the restroom and get some snacks. I walked into the bathroom and saw my daughter in one of the stalls. I knew it was her because I could see her blue vans that she was wearing that day. Being the only people in the bathroom, I decided to mess with her. So I said her name in the creepiest voice possible. No answer. I said it again, even creepier. No answer. Finally, I'd had enough of her ignoring me, so I said, "I will not be ignored!" In the same creepy voice and peeked through the crack of the stall.
But, instead of my daughter, some poor little girl looked horror stricken back.
I ran from the bathroom, told my family it was time to go, and get the heck out of there, way too embarrassed to look back.

-K.E.

Kiss it Goodbye

So, I've been looking around for a job, right? And yesterday, I go to Zupas and on the front door, there's a help wanted sign. I figure it wouldn't be a bad job, so when I get home, I apply online. The way you apply for Zupas online was super confusing to me, so I kind of gave up on it, thinking they wouldn't call me because it wasn't even complete.
Today, during lunch, I get a call from an unknown number. Lately, I've been getting calls at least once a day from some cruise line trying to sell to me. So,  when I saw this strange number, I figured it was just the cruise line again and I rolled my eyes explaining my frustration to my friend. She insisted I let her answer the call, so, against my better judgment, I let her. She answers it with, "BlahhGoobooMrr" or some kind of gibberish baby talk. Then she persist to say, "STAHP calling me!!" In her best impression of Jimmy Fallon's "Sara", and hangs up. We laugh about it after, thinking we're so clever and funny.
Then the number calls again. Holiday Cruise Line doesn't ever call back.
But by this point, I'm too frustrated that they're still bugging me to think logically and I answer the phone with an irritated, "Hello?"
Voice on the other end: "Hi! Is this Anna?"
Me, in a still irritated and somewhat smart-alecky voice: "Yeah, this is she." (because I think it's sooo ugly when people say, "this is she!")
Her: "Well Hi! This is the manager from Café Zupas and we we're just looking at your online application, do you have a few minutes?"
Me to my friend: I'm going to kill you.
Manager proceeds: "Ha.. ha, um, was that you who answered the phone the time before?"
Me to my friend: Yeah, we're not friends anymore.
I explain to the kind lady that, no(!!), that was not me, it was my friend trying to be funny. She then replies with, "Oh good! I was pretty scared..."
Yeah, yeah me too.
Let's just kiss that job goodbye.

-Anna

Who Needs A Date?

Story of my first date. We made plans to go to Aquatica (Orlando water park) because I have a seasonal pass. We made plans way ahead of time. Everything was set and I brought a non refundable ticket for him. He was just supposed to pay for the food, locker, ect. He tells me that day he forgot about an appointment he had so he's be a little late. Hours pass, so I tell him that I'll meet him there since I live farther. I'm almost there, he calls and tells me he can't make it and if we can go another day. Since I was already just about there and it was HOT, I went in and spend the whole day alone. Going on the rides (that I could actually get on because 90% you need more than one person) alone, watching the families and couples, wave pool alone, eating ice cream alone...seriously, probably the loneliest I've ever been. Who goes to a water park alone? Then, it started raining.

Never talked to him again after that. Worst and First "date" - Canceled on me. To make it worse, my mom and sisters asked how it went because I hardly ever go out and I don't have a lot of friends. I lied and told them it was great and everything because I was too embarrassed to tell them what really happened.

 

-Anonymous

Heart Crusher

The first time I asked a guy out, I forgot we were on a date and left him to go hang out with my friends. When I returned he was all lonely and stuff. I'm bad at staying in one spot so I invited him to slow dance and he did reluctantly. Although, I drove him home and I think he wanted a goodnight kiss...or at least a proper goodbye. But I was hungry and just dropped him off and went home. 1 week later I found out I crushed his heart accidentally. It's sorta embarrassing...

-A

I See London I See France... I Wish I Saw Your Underpants...

I was at a bouncy house with my best friend at the time and we were going through a bouncy maze thing and you had to squeeze through this one thing and when i did it made my pants come down.. Like underwear and everything, in front of a little girl and her mom. I pulled up my pants real fast and then a little later i heard the little girl ask her mom "isnt that the girl whos pants fell down?" I DIED! :( prolly top 3 most embarssing moments of my life.

-T

No Excuse

This one's a little vague... But I'm guessing this poor chap got stood up. Is there anything more embarrassing? ... Well, yes, yes there is. But it's pretty bad! And all C has to say is....

She never showed up.

'Nuff said, honey.

-C

Hey Hi Hoe

One time when I was late for school so i was running up the stairs in the commons and then I fell and then my skirt flew up and there were people behind me and they all saw my underwear and it was super embarrassing.


-A.W.

I'll Never Unsee That

One time I walked in on my friend's mom going to the bathroom. Not long after that, I walked in on my friend's dad going to the bathroom. They were both just like, "Hey!".... it was traumatizing.

-Anon

Not Cool Enough

I didn't know how many embarrassing experiences I had until I started this blog...

I was at school one day waiting outside my teacher's door to go into class. The bell had rang, but the teacher was still on his lunch break, so the whole class was waiting. This girl that I've known my whole life (same soccer team as kids, same elementary school. etc, etc.) came up to me and said, "Hey Anna!" in her usual perky way. I smiled and said hey back louder than was necessary. But she didn't stop at me. She continued to walk past me to the cuter, way more popular Anna behind me that I hadn't known was there... I felt so stupid. So I slowly just faded away behind a group of people. The worst part was, we were still all stuck there 'cause me teacher hadn't come back yet.

-Anna

Don't Mind Me...

Every year, I run a 50 mile race through the mountains. It usually takes around 12-14 hours and there are little to no bathroom along the way. At one point, I had to go to the bathroom, and it was a little more than just pee... So, I went to the side of the trail, pulled down my pants, and started to go. When I was in the middle of doing my business, a guy came around the corner and saw me, butt naked, taking a dump. We made eye contact, said hello, and then he went on his merry way. So embarrassing.

-K.E.

Soiled Seats

I was going on a date with my boyfriend (later husband) and some friends of ours. We were driving my boyfriend's dad's car and the girls (including myself) were in the back. At one point in the drive, there was a cliff with a lake to the side of us, and we got really close to the edge. One of the girls was so terrified that we would fall in, she peed her pants. Afterwards, we got out of the car to stretch our legs and we when we got back in, we sat in different spots. One girl got the seat that had been peed in and cried, "Ew, what is that?!" Me, knowing the girl had peed and was super embarrassed about it, tried to convince the girl that I had spilled my perfume. She wasn't satisfied with my explanation and wanted to know for herself. So, she got her big nose and put it in the pee. "That's not perfume!!! That's pee!!" She yelled. And the secret was out.
So, in the end, the girl was humiliated because she had peed and ruined the date, I looked guilty because I had covered it up (or tried to), and Dean, my boyfriend, gave the car back to his dad with soiled seats. 

-C.M.

Truth Hurts

I'm on two soccer teams, so I have two different goalies. Today, the goalie from my one team played with my other team in our game because we needed more players. Let's call her Jen. My other goalie, Katie, I love and think she is the greatest goalie I've ever had. After our game, I was congratulating Katie, telling her she's my favorite goalie ever. Then I felt a slug to the shoulder. Jen was right there. "Thanks, Anna." she said bitterly and walked away. I was so embarrassed. I don't think Jen and I are friends any more.

-Anna

This is Also Why I Don't Have Kids

I was at Lagoona Beach at Lagoon with my friend (later my wife) and her 4 kids. The kids wanted me to go on the slide that's pretty much vertical; you go straight down. Not wanting to be a party pooper, I obliged. My friend said she was going to watch. After watching a few grown men do it before me and come out fine, I figured I could do it. Well, no one told me you had to cross your legs, or else. So I go down the basically vertical slide spread eagle (my legs wide open). When I hit the base of the slide, instead of gliding across the pool like the other men had, my crotch hit solid water and I sank. It was so painful, I could hardly walk out of the pool. The girl lifeguard hurried over to me and asked if I was okay. I brushed her off, pretending like it was nothing, while on the inside I was dying.
My friend just laughed as she watched the whole thing.

-E.E.

This is Why I Don't Have Kids

One time I was riding a jumping horse and I was coming up to a jump and the horse stopped right before it. I flew over the horse and somehow landed straddling the jump. While unable to breath and holding my crotch, I slowly proceeded to rotate off the pole and to fall to the ground in immense agony. Everybody was laughing at me, but I just cried.

-E.E.